Every day, I ask my athletes or clients, ‘Hey, how are you?’ or ‘How are you feeling?’ It’s just a routine part of conversation—something we all do. But recently, I paused to really think about what happens after we ask that question.
If someone says ‘bad,’ we instinctively follow up with, ‘Why? What’s going on?’ But if they say ‘good’ or ‘great,’ we usually just accept it and move on. Why don’t we ask, ‘Why is that?’ just as often?
Over the past two weeks, I changed the way I responded. Every time someone said they were feeling ‘good’ or ‘great,’ I asked, ‘Why is that?’ What shocked me was how many people didn’t have an answer. They had no problem explaining why they felt bad, but struggled to articulate why they felt good.
It made me wonder—do we define ‘good’ simply as the absence of bad? Have we conditioned ourselves to focus so much on struggle that we don’t take the time to appreciate what’s actually going well?
There is a quote I think of when I think of this and it goes:
“That mountain you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.”
But what if we flipped this? What if we made it a habit to recognize and name the things that make our day ‘good’—not just to appreciate them in the moment, but to strengthen our ability to see them more often?
I encourage you to reflect on what made your day good instead of just accepting “good” as the default. Something like this can help young athletes (or anyone) create a habit of crediting their positive experiences. So here is a simple challenge for you: Next time someone tells you they’re doing well, ask them why. And when you feel good, take a second to acknowledge what’s behind it.
Being seen and heard isn’t just about receiving support when things go wrong—it’s also about having your wins acknowledged, no matter how small. Maybe it’s time we start celebrating the good as intentionally as we try to fix the bad.
About the Author
Rob Smaldino is the Athlete Program Director at Peak Human Performance. Shortly after receiving his Bachelor of Exercise Science degree from The Ohio State University and his Master of Exercise Physiology from University of Dayton, he earned his CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist) and found Peak in the Fall of 2017. He has been a coach with Peak since then. In the Spring of 2021, he was approached to step into his Director role.
He is a coach truly enamored with the success of any athlete he comes in contact with. He openly states that he is equal parts a coach and a fan of every one of his athletes. From training sessions, to mindset and preparation talks, to showing up to his athletes competitions, Rob is willing to go above and beyond for any athlete at any level of competition. If you want to gain more insight into what makes Coach Rob such a gravitating force, follow him at @robsmaldinophp
